StayinGroningen publishes personal stories about escaping war and the start of a new life in Groningen.

The sound of the waves

My favorite sound is the sound of the waves. In front of my eyes is a blue sky with rare white clouds and a blazing sun tempting me to hide beneath a straw hat and sunglasses. And also green palm trees, white sand, and the sea. Endless, blue and warm. It teases, gently capturing you in its embrace as it rushes to the shore, then releasing you.

Or maybe not. It’s nighttime. There is the same sound of the waves. The sea is like an invader. Waves rushing to the shore, seizing the sea pebbles and forcefully pulling them into the depths, then once again surging onto the shore with a roar... And there is such a bright Moon in the sky!!! And from it, a silvery and shimmering moonlit path is displayed across the entire sea.. These images resurface from childhood memories when my parents used to take my brother and me to the sea every summer.

This is something you can watch endlessly. And listen too... Or perhaps more.... Clear sky, rare white clouds and the dazzling Sun.. And snow.. And all together it's almost blinding.. But you lower your protective goggles and swiftly descend on skis, forgetting how you struggled with those dreadful ski boots and skis on your shoulder to reach this peak... Then a pause, a sip of warm mulled wine, and once again, only the sound in your ears and the fleeting skiers and fir trees.

Or you're in a caravan of cars, exploring Europe with your family and your friends' families, chasing the known and unknown. Or on Manhattan, sitting on a windowsill on the thirtieth floor at 4 am because the time zone has shifted, but your body clock hasn't yet, and you watch how yellow taxis live their lives far below.. Then, you rejoice that it's finally 7:00 am, rushing to the sleepy but smiling seller for a cup of terribly diluted coffee and the obligatory compliment just for you.

I am currently working in the Tourism Industry

Have I ever dreamt about it? Certainly! Especially after many years in the demanding, risky business. In a business where there are no holidays, vacations, Friday evenings or lazy Sundays... Where there are no days or nights. Just the road.. 365/365, 24/7. International freight transport. You are both the owner and the boss.

When you can’t be out of the access zone, when you can’t let your phone run out of battery, when the internet must not disappear. And the first thing you ask during a call is, "Is everyone alive?", and then you can complain: the tire on the wheel burst, the card got blocked and you cannot pay for 300 liters of fuel in another country, that you were robbed a few thousand euros or that you got bored..

I work in the travel industry. Relaxation? Definitely! Especially for the brain. Especially after your husband unexpectedly placed his wedding ring on the table the day before your anniversary and said, "Goodbye!", when the business is closed due to a global pandemic, when your eldest son left with his family to build his life... And you remained . Alone. In a big house. In a large beautiful house. Made by you with great love for your family. Where it used to be noisy and funny... Everything fell silent. Died. But not everything. There is one more son. You have to live for him. Hold on. He still needs you - he’s young. We saved. On heating, on food, on clothes. On everything., Only the essentials. It piled up. It couldn’t get worse. But I was wrong.

The Bomb

I woke up initially because I was pressed to the bed by the sound. A military plane zoomed over the house in a swift flight. Low. Very low. I glanced at my clock. 4 a.m. I closed my eyes and turned around a little. I fell asleep. At this time I was jolted awake. The bed shook, and the house trembled. There was no doubt, but it was impossible to believe. It was an explosion. This was a bomb. This was War. I couldn't believe it. I was still in bed.. sitting.. Another explosion.. The Dog was frightened. From another room: “Mooom??!!!”, and with hope: “What is this??!” asked my son . “This is War, son». A few more minutes of silence.. Then the ring of calls. Shouts on the phone: Gather! Leave! They're coming!

The Escape

Within 2 hours, the older children arrived. A son with his wife, an infant daughter and a cat. It took an hour and a half to cover the road in 15 minutes. The entire city rushed to the western border. The entire Western part of the country became one continuous multi-day traffic jam. The children decided not to go anywhere. A child, a cat... Too challenging. They did not leave the basement. They are young parents and they were scared.

But I could not go down there. I stood near the window, mechanically washing dishes in the sink. The sky was so clear, so blue! But a bomb might fall any moment, and the glass from this window will scatter in all directions. We all dreamed of having the sink by the window in the kitchen! Going outside was terrifying. But you have to go to the store for groceries, to the ATM for money. Because there were no reserves. We saved, after all. During the day, a friend of the older children called: "Pick me up!! Please!!!! I'm scared!!!"

My son put on a bulletproof vest (yes, we had one) and a bicycle helmet then went to get his friend and her cat. We spent the night. Our dog refused to sleep in the basement, he laid on the ground floor, and I slept next to him on the sofa in the garage. Any movement triggered the light because the motion sensor was active.

I struggled through the entire night because I was afraid the light would turn on. At dawn, I went to check everything and everyone. Out of habit, the dog went upstairs to my bedroom and slept on the threshold of the room, protecting me as always. During the day, the nerves of the young parents couldn't take it anymore. Almost in hysteria, they said, "We're leaving! Going to the countryside, to a friend's house!"

"Alright! You’re leaving!”, “And you?”, “I’m not. I have an aquarium with fish, a dog, a house...» After my clothes flew out of the closets, I agreed. 30 minutes to get ready. And the house was completely orphaned. Saying goodbye was unbearable. It was hard and there was no time. And we left on our most terrifying journey. Another house was already waiting for us, in the same confusion. A house where, for several months, five families, three dogs, and five cats cohabited.

Arriving in Groningen

Outside, it was night and rain, because it's the Netherlands. It always rains here. When we arrived in Groningen it was already autumn. Student housing was taken, and the allocated accommodation for refugees leaves much to be desired. It is said that the only thing comparable to divorce is moving to another city. But what about moving to another country? Without knowing the language and without any psychological preparation? It was a little death. When there is a war in your country? It wasn't just scary. Hopelessness pressed mercilessly. I was in shock.

And then events unfolded independently of me. A person from the hotel found out that we were looking for accommodation and recommended to contact with the hotel owners. The owners said that they have the opportunity to accommodate us right here in the hotel. I still couldn’t assess my situation and health, but it was evident that I was missing something. After a while, the hotel owner approached me and said: "It's painful to see you like this. Would you like to join our friendly team? Maybe it will make you feel better?”

Tears welled up in my eyes, and I could not say a word. My husband and I have always helped people. Now, I found myself in a situation where I couldn't act independently anymore, and I didn't know how to ask for help. And strangers willingly came to my aid. I shared this with the hotel owner, and she responded, "So, you have that kind of karma."

I consulted with my son and then agreed. Now I am working in the tourism industry. I'm a cleaner at a hotel. And I know exactly what guests need. Some come to explore every detail of beauty. Others just want to fall into bed after a long journey and have a good sleep. And I know how to make it happen. Come to our hotel! You'll like it!

Personal story by Lililia, working at The Happy Traveler in Groningen.